Supplemental: The Legionnaires' New Clothes

In addition to the story of Karkan, The Boy Who Loved The Apestika, last week's Superboy #183 also marked the first (and, I think, only) appearance of the reader-submitted costumes for the Legion of Super-Heroes which was covered in this here blog many many moons ago. (None, sadly, as designed by Paul Decker of Oconowomoc WI, the maniac...)

Oh freakin' boy!

The story starts with Princess Projectra, Shadow Lass, Mon-El and Karate Kid hitting the spacelanes to discover Space-America, wearing clothes so painfully hip that they won't even be fashionable until the 30th century - if then!

Comic books are full of smart advice for dumb kids.

In the middle of their space-jaunt, the crew of four are sideswiped by some strange alien force - which critically damages their ship and apparently burns all the sensible clothes they'd thought to bring with them.



"Thank goodness for dignity!"

 The quartet are subsequently possessed by the four space-ray-beam-people-things, because apparently that's the thing they do. Little time passes before the inexperienced, mind-controlling phony baloney cosmic phantom things find their host bodies in mortal danger from ... whatever this thing is.

Yeah, I don't ... I don't think that's what you're saying it is.

When azure-skinned hottie Shadow Lass is critically injured by the thing that is obviously a penis Vege-Demon, it shocks the phantomy-thingie beasts out of their host bodies, or possibly they passed a mirror and caught a good look at what they were wearing.

If this ain't terrifying it already,
no illusion's gonna make a diff.

Anyway, it all wraps up with this weirdly cheery half-huddle at the end of the story, which purports to 'explain' the things which 'happened' during the 'story'.

"Can we get out of these things, now?"

BUT WAIT! The Legion of Super-Heroes weren't the only folks to get a new look in this issue of Superboy, so did Lana Lang - decked out as the superheroic Gravity Girl and rocking the white dress, green cape and lead gimp mask look for all it was worth!

"As long as you're wearing that skirt, I just sort of want to
fly behind you for a while ..."

In the story, Superboy is challenged to discover Gravity Girl's true identity, but is forbidden to use a few of his powers - he's not allowed his telescopic vision, his flight or super-speed. Cleverly (sort of), Superboy uses his tremendous strength and super-hearing to trick Lana into bringing home a two-ton pebble (formerly a wrecking ball which Superboy crushed in front of Gravity Girl's slit-obscured eyes). Superboy is counting on Lana's being too stupid to remember her new gravity-bequeathed super-strength, and she sort-of is and sort-of isn't, as exhibited in these two panels which originally occurred one panel apart from one another:



 Except ... she had realized that, Superboy. She just said as much, right in front of you, WITH YOUR SUPER-HEARING ON AND EVERYTHING.

Anyway, don't worry, Superboy did the right thing in the end. Besides wrecking her house, he also destroyed the belt which gave her super-powers. Can't say fairer than that!