"The brain of a man in the body of a gorilla? I can't win!" Oh, we've all been there, buddy - I'm gonna get that on a mug.
Anyway, here's Wrestling With Horror from the pages of BEWARE, the comic magazine which also would have been handy for stories about general health and safety. BEWARE ... OF CARBOHYDRATES! BEWARE ... OF UNSTURDY STEPLADDERS! BEWARE ... OF WRESTLING GORILLAS!
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Dear God, where to begin.
ReplyDelete"Backstory? Pft! Toss it in an 'Editor's Note' blurb."
"Grizzly bear? I don't know what a grizzly bear looks like. So I'll just draw...a Wookiee on fire? Yeah, that's the ticket!"
"Deaf and dumb Indian servant? Oh-kaaaay... Indian? Gandhi, or Sitting Bull? Eh, I'll do a mash-up and hide it."
"Ha ha! That'll teach you to engage me in the very sport upon which I've built my career! I'm gonna electrocute ALL my opponents from now on! Damn, that gets me hard!"
A question mark after "the end," huh. Yeah, this could generate a sequel. See, the blind, deaf, dumb, club-footed Indian with a harelip could be Dr. Blaaaakaka's sister, and therefore privvy to all his secrets. She could seek revenge on Mighty Mauler Meter Maid Mike Matthew (secretly the superhero B'wanga Beef) by teaching the fire-Wookiee to cheat at snooker. Then B'wingo Beet could kill it by burying an axe in its forehead.
Man, this stuff writes itself if you sniff enough glue!
I dunno, shouldn't he get disqualified for electrocuting the opponent? Technically, the gorilla won.
ReplyDeleteI'm like God, heh heh.