A natural choice for career guidance, your humble editor is a big fan of the early E.C.Segar Popeye strips and can tell you that the one-eyed sailor spent most of his life fighting people for money and losing fortunes by gambling. On at least a couple scenarios, I’m pretty sure Segar was slipping in a joke about Popeye visiting prostitutes, too, but it was the Thirties and no one lived past age twenty-five back then, so you had to live when the living was good.
|Also it's weird when Popeye just |
blithely mentions Jesus like this.
- Popeye and Health Careers
- Popeye and Environmental Careers
- Popeye and Communications and Media Careers
- Popeye and Transportation Careers
- Popeye and Construction Careers
- Popeye and Consumer and Homemaking
- Popeye and Manufacturing Careers
- Popeye and Hospitality and Recreation Careers
- Popeye and Marketing and Distribution Careers
- Popeye and Marketing and Office Careers
- Popeye and Public Service Careers
- Popeye and Personal Service Careers
- Popeye and Marine Science Careers (finally, one that’s up his alley!)
- Popeye and Fine Arts and Humanities Careers
- Popeye and Agri-Business-Natural Resources Careers
Meanwhile, here’s a list of some of the industries Popeye never covered in this series:
- Popeye and Sex Industry Careers
- Popeye and Drug Manufacturing and Trafficking Careers
- Popeye and Body Mod-Tattooing Careers
- Popeye and Cheating Welfare
- Popeye and Killing a Wealthy Relative for the Inheritance
|"No, seriouskly See'pea, you're a terrible raciskt.|
We've all been meaning to say somethingsk
There’s also a hefty helping of “they mean well” going on in the pages – it’s a diverse cast in these books, with pink-skinned Caucasians mixing it up with brown-skinned African-Americans, highlighter-yellow-skinned Asians, greenish-gray-skinned … sub-continental Indians, maybe? Captions occasionally add some variation on the phrase “Sometimes women are good at this job, too!” which is a hell of an artifact to leave to future generations, to be sure.
As alarming as some of the comics can be, there’s too much in all fifteen to cover, so I wanted to focus on two of them:
In Popeye and Environmental Careers, the squinty-eyed sailor takes his ward Swee’pea (whose trapeze artist parents were murdered by criminals, I’m sure you’ll recall) on a tour of America’s nightmarish future of limitless filth. Within five pages, Popeye has already seen or envisioned a gray river of sludge, a blighted black wasteland forever burning with charred trees dropping dead leaves on the listless soil, garbage dumps extending further than human vision, starving cows and throttled fish in murky environments clouded with waste, mile-high garbage dumps and birds murdered by insecticides. At this point, this is either Popeye or the prequel to Zardoz.
|He's twitching like that because of the unnatural|
mercury levels in his spinach.
Meanwhile, in Popeye and Fine Arts and Humanities Careers, things get meta. With Swee’pea wondering how artists are able to craft all those wonderful things (“Drugsk” replies Popeye, laughing nervously as perspiration beads on his frantically twitching upper lip), we’re taken on a tour of anatomy classes, life-drawing sessions (the closest I’m sure we’ll ever come to seeing a dick in a Popeye comic), a pottery class, advertising agency, and then the studio office of … George Wildman, the guy who is drawing this very comic as we speak! Ah! Is he God? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
Moreso, Popeye wanders over to the busy attic office of writer Joe Gill, the autor of “funny comics, love comics that girls like, war comics or superhero comics.” He’s also writing every aspect of your very world, Popeye, bow before he to whom you are only a mote in his eye.
|"For inskance, I euthanizes dogsk! Arf arf arf!"|