|"For instance, my self-esteem is through the roof!"|
“How I loathe giants” he explains in one particularly disturbing assault, “They're physucally so powerful while I'm so puny!” What he’s leaving out of the explanation is that he also has a face like a shrink-wrapped, porcelain snake turd, not to mention his shitty posture. Yoga might do wonders for Doctor Cesspoole.
|He looks like a butt's skull.|
Most of his antics end up fizzling, such as a “Bashful Potion” which gives Stumbo adolescent titters whenever he sees so much as a cloud in the shape of a pretty lady. That one actually works out because I’m sure Stumbo’s sudden erections provide vital shade for his beloved Tinytown during the Summer months.
Certainly one of his most successful – and downright horrific – attempts to destroy Stumbo comes at the wrong end of a shape-changing-ray machine (Devil Kids starring Hot Stuff vol.1 No.30, May 1967). While he ultimately proves that the beam can shrink Stumbo to human-size and turn him into a dog, respectively, Cesspoole begins with some straight-up Cronenbergian body horror bullshit. I will let the images speak for themselves:
|Stumbo's having a straight-up Naked Lunch.|
Possibly the genuine highlight of this stomach-churning escapade is the people of Tinytown rushing out to reassure Stumbo that looks don’t really matter. “We don't know what's happened to you but, don't worry ... we love you no matter how you look!” they cry, reflexively, like they’ve had that kind of support holstered for years. It’s almost like they just knew that, some day, Stumbo would realize that he was a big fat idiot and would need SOME kind of kind reassurance. All the shape-changing ray did was strip away the veneer of their blithe acceptance, revealing before Stumbo’s searching eyes the dread sense of revulsion they’ve been battling back for years. And in that way, hasn’t Doctor Cesspoole truly won this battle, where it counts?