Navigation is the least of granddad’s problems, though, as an overlooked American nuclear bomb also happens to be resting in the snowy peak of Fuji. Set to go off when anything heavier than, say, an old man with ONE infant grandson happens by, the bomb explodes! Being a good forty feet away, the old man and his kin easily survive, except that one of the babies develops HORRIBLE FACIAL SCARS that consistently fail to be drawn on the guy even though they mention it repeatedly.
It also turns out to be one of those good nukes, as it gives the old man the strength of youth and apparently imbues his grandkids with equally above-human energy. Why, in many ways, we did Japan a FAVOR by dropping the bomb! You’re welcome.
Finally reaching China, pee-paw’s luck continues to roll downhill as he encounters one of those dangerous Chinese polar bears you read so much about it the news these days. Saved by nearby monks, the trio are taken into the monastery where the dumb bullshit dies down for like a minute while the twins are raised in the discipline of kung-fu!
Zapping ahead a coupla decades, the twins have relocated to America where one of them becomes a popular big city television news anchor (“This is Wu Teh, aka The Dragon, for Action 5 News and the Action 5 News Troubleshooters”) while the HORRIBLY SCARRED ONE becomes the servant of the evil tattoo enthusiast Dr.Nhu, a world-conquering criminal intent on murdering the Japanese Prime Minister during a visit to New York. Luckily for all, our good twin is also The Dragon, a kung-fu mystic armed with some sort of life-saving disco medallion. This comes in handy when he turns out to be such a poor martial artist that he allows the Prime Minister to get assassinated after all. Things aren’t really working out for the Dragon.
Where exactly the eventual conflict between the Dragon and his evil HORRIBLY SCARRED twin brother might have ended is anyone’s guess, primarily as the two of them are overshadowed in their only appearance by a shaggy grey-haired hippie med student who shouts confusing slogans from the floor of the Prime Minister’s address. That’s not a great sign in terms of any lasting appeal our hero may have had, even if Atlas hadn’t collapsed before they could find a recurring home for him and his title-grabbing hands.
|Enh, he's got some valid points.|