Monday, May 4, 2015


It's a real competition to decide what constituted the most useless product ever offered within the pages of your average comic book. What is a seven foot tall floating ghost? A cardboard submarine? A sharktooth necklace? T-Shirt iron-ons? A career in art?

Among the multitude of contenders, your humble editor puts forth that nothing quite matches the spectacle of ... CUBE LUBE:

What makes Cube Lube a champion of uselessness and plain weirdness? Is it the absurd name? The disembodied hands furiously manipulating a seemingly languorous, unhurried Rubik's Cube (I'm sorry, I meant to say "Cube and other mind-boggling puzzles that move") with an ardor typically reserved for the theatrically erotic?

Perhaps it's the awkwardly hip tagline - "Nothing moves your cube like CUBE LUBE" (says you, big boy), or better yet perhaps it's that no manufacturer before or since has so accurately, if unintentionally, described its target market with its name than "Bougé Industries Inc?" Because if selling lubricant to Rubik's Cube enthusiasts isn't straight bougie, then I have no idea what is.

1 comment:

neofishboy said...

"Cube Lube is specifically formulated for the cube. Use on cuboids, spheres, cones, cylinders or square-based pyramids strictly prohibited."

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