Monday, August 10, 2015

P-S-Eh? : BINKY VS BUZZY

There's a school of wisdom which suggests that kids listen to their peers for good advice more than their elders. Being as I'm older the God's first pair of Adidas, I dunno about that. I do know that DC Comics apparently subscribed to that belief, and exercised it with the help of two of their teen stars, Buzzy and Binky. 

The basically indistinguishable teen leads alternated single-page real estate to share with their young readers all sort of essential advice necessary to living a full life of not mistreating animals or physically abusing the differently abled. For an innocuous example, here's Binky giving the readers some advice on how not to spend your Summer in a nest of your own filth, waiting patiently for death to claim you ...

Meanwhile, Buzzy is granting advice on starting your day with plenty of rest and a good breakfast
Haunted by the faces of those he's wronged, Danny retreats to the Shame Breakfast Nook
But it wasn't all mere innocence and giving the bored some sort of direction. For instance, both boys want you to understand other culture. Binky has had it with the anti-French bias in the world and needs to have this all cleaned up...

While Buzzy willcram four completely different cultures down your throat. "It's a special kind of party," he says, worrying his friends.


But there are dark corners to their worlds. Here's Binky living in a shadowy world of assumed identities and minds fractured by desire and delusion...

 Buzzy scoffs - SCOFFS, I say - at your deep dark secret. He knows so many more, that boy does...
Binky's younger brother Allergy needs to be convinced to treat dogs like living creatures worthy of respect. This will all end in a few dozen shallow graves in the woods and a state-wide manhunt, mark my words.


While Buzzy's opposite number, Wolfie, occupies himself by assaulting the deaf ...
Handicapped:1 Records:0
Ultimately, the pleasant gods-eye of their good intentions and sound advice unravel into arguments, hatred, and thoughts of murder. Binky cannot suffer his sister to live

And Buzzy? Well, it is only weakness that is grotesque in men, and so Wolfie, who is weak, must drown.

They'll all end updead by Summer's end, is my guess.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

"Sugaring off"??!!!

James W. Fry 3.0 said...

You imply Allergy's future as a serial murderer. Well, of course! And I blame his parents. What else should they expect after naming the little bastard "Allergy"? And the same is true for his cousins,"Virus"and "Painful Rectal Itch".

Calamity Jon said...

I'm sure that "Allergy" is only a nickname. His name at birth was "Unwanted Thoughts and Borderline Schizophrenia"

BillyWitchDoctor said...

I do appreciate the silent panel in which Danny finally connects skipping breakfast with his declining performance, with no narrator or second character telling us that he's doing so. It's almost as if the reader was expected to have a frontal lobe back then.

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