Wednesday, October 5, 2016

WEIRD WEDNESDAY THEATER : RAT-TRAP

“Greetings fiends and freaks, I’m Mister Teller, the most terrifying horror host of them all! Because I work in a bank, maybe? No, wait, I guess it’s “teller” as in “teller of stories,” got it, that’s not actually very terrifying at all. Sorry. Or maybe I’m the silent half of a popular magic act? Also not that scary? Okay, I’ll work on my gimmick a bit, maybe buy some plastic fangs. I’ll figure it out.

“I was introduced halfway through the run of Horrific, a horror comic product out of Comic Media Magazines, a name I’m sure took ohhhh all of five seconds to think of. That’s not a company name, that’s a dictionary definition.

“Anyway, I didn’t come alone. The previously host-less book not only acquired me, but my four assistants – Freddie Demon, Garry Ghoul, Victor Vampire and Walter Werewolf – who’d each introduce one of the stories in the book. Is “being good at delegating” terrifying? I’m really working hard on this.

“Well, more about my sinister subordinates next week. Right now, I have for you a tale of captivity, insanity, and how your mustache determines your ironic fate in these magazines. From Mister Mystery Comics vol.1 No.8, this is …”

8 comments:

Brad S. said...

EC swipe much?

Jonathan Hendry said...

Why... does he have fangs? Since when can the fat girth of a rat bend iron?

My this is a bad one.

Johny Longtorso said...

GIANT RAT ASSES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOODNIGHT!

Red shadow said...

If a guys losing weight eating bad food then I don't think a diet of vitamin pills will encourage healthy weight gain.

Calamity Jon said...

Couple you guys surprisingly have opinions on rat keisters.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

This is the best comment thread ever.

Still, as far as stories go, I liked MAD Magazine's "Mole!" ("Huh, huh! Dig dig dig!") better.

James W. Fry 3.0 said...

Wow.Now that I know how to break out of prison, that tri-state killing spree can start any minute now. In other news, credit on the story (art, I'd imagine) reads "Mortellaro", so I'm guessing Tony Mortellaro. Worked with John Romita Sr. on SPIDER-MAN in the '70s. Used to sneak "backgrounds by Mortellaro" into billboards and street signs in lieu of an actual credit. Never saw his solo work before. Thanks, Jon!

Calamity Jon said...

Never knew his backstory before, thank YOU James!

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