Friday, January 27, 2017


Last year, I had the pleasure of having my first book, The League of Regrettable Superheroes, published by the fine folks over at Quirk Books in Philadelphia, PA. Although the cat has been out of the bag for a little while, I'm nonetheless proud to announce that the logical sequel -- The Legion of Regrettable Super-Villains -- is slated to debut on March 28th! You can now pre-order the book over on AmazonBarnes&Noble, and probably on the weird superhero book black market. It does thriving business!

To whet your appetite for the new book, every Friday leading up to the release date, I'll be providing brief snapshots of just some of the 108 (!) historically effed-up bad guys covered in the book (and that's not even counting the sidebars).

Some super-villains are in it for the respect, for better or worse. Now, they can't go around calling themselves Doctor such-and-such -- there's regulatory bodies for that kind of nonsense! Nope, what they get instead is just a really strongly emphasized "MISTER" in front of their names...

Created by: Otto Binder and Kurt Schaffenberger
Debuted in Captain Marvel Jr Vol 1 No.62 (Fawcett Comics, June 1948)

In a way, Mr.Hydro isn't really the bad guy here. Rather, it's the absent-minded scientist whom Hydro robs, relieving the neighborhood crackpot of a bunch of deadly weapons which the prof had been assembling in the middle of the suburbs. There are not a lot of places I'd like to have a matter-disintegrator ray stored, but within walking distance of an elementary school and just minutes from downtown is absolutely the last on the list. One of the inventions which Hydro manages to swipe is a formula which allows him to turn his body to liquid, allowing him to disappear into cracks, slide up pipes, and just sort of be wet all the time. His one weakness: running water. Just like a vampire, but soggier, he'll be washed away and discombobulated. I don't know how he got down all those pipes and stuff, but maybe he just mingles with standing water. I bet he smells like a flooded basement.

Created by: Reed Crandall  and an uncredited writer
Debuted in Crack Comics vol.1 No.6 (Quality Comics, July 1949)

It's not polite to point, but it's even less polite to point a finger of death at someone. Mister Pointer, the Man With The Power To Go "Hey, over there!" bedevils ghostly superhero Captain Triumph by shooting people with his finger from around corners, through windows, and all sorts of dumb places where you can't really see who he is or what he looks like. Actually armed with a hand-shaped gun which fires poisoned slivers of ice at his victims, Mister Pointer is proof that guns don't kill people, people kill people, and also people build guns that look like hands and shoot people with poison-tipped icicles. Put that on a bumper sticker.

Created by: Phil Bard  and an uncredited writer
Debuted in America’s Greatest Comics vol.1 No.1 (Fawcett Comics, September 1941)

I suppose if you're a ten foot tall skeletal figure with a giant tank of acid which reduces people to their bones in seconds, then you've earned the right to be called "Mister." Heck, call yourself "His Holiness," I can't think of a decent counterargument, even if he seems to be wearing a sports bra and a cape. This titanic tyrant spends his debut story abducting, torturing and killing US Army generals not once but twice, because you don't mess with success. In the end, he is defeated by the one thing he didn't prepare for - a fuckton of Army dudes shooting him with a million weapons and also a superhero shows up. The best laid plans of mice, men, and gigantic skeleton weirdos.

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