THE LEGION OF REGRETTABLE SUPERVILLAINS - FORGOTTEN FOES : BILIOUS BUGS

Last year, I had the pleasure of having my first book, The League of Regrettable Superheroes, published by the fine folks over at Quirk Books in Philadelphia, PA. Although the cat has been out of the bag for a little while, I'm nonetheless proud to announce that the logical sequel -- The Legion of Regrettable Super-Villains -- is slated to debut on March 28th! You can now pre-order the book over on Amazon, Barnes&Noble, and probably on the weird superhero book black market. It does thriving business!

To whet your appetite for the new book, every Friday leading up to the release date, I'll be providing brief snapshots of just some of the 108 (!) historically effed-up bad guys covered in the book (and that's not even counting the sidebars).

If there's anything ickier than a bug, then you can keep it. Alternatively, if there's anything ickier than a big, you can put it in a mask and give it the idea to start snuffing people and stealing shit. Evidently, they're all pretty good at it, which accounts for the numbers. Still, you can defeat most of them with a shoe or by turning the kitchen lights on in the middle of the night.

SPIDER MAN
Created by: Otto Binder and Kurt Schaffenberger
Debuted in: Whiz Comics #89 (Fawcett Comics, September 1947)

Lose the hyphen and get with the program. Years before Peter Parker had the world's most extreme allergic reaction to a spider-bite, this fur-festooned fiend was crawling around America's industrial centers, hijacking planes and stealing gold and all that good, old-timey supervillain stuff. 

Spider Man's primary weapon, just as it is with his superheroic successor, is his web-like fluid. Unlike the Spectacular Spider-Man, though, this Spider Man carries his web fluid around in what appears to be some sort of weaponized bagpipe, and squeezes it out in huge, milky clumps to capture and detain his foes. It looks super pornographic, in case you were wondering. 

PRAYING MANTIS MAN

Created by: Joe Gill and Bill Fraccio
Debuted in: Blue Beetle # 4 (Charlton Comics, January 1965)

You begin to get the feeling that they were running out of bug-related super-villain names when they got all the way to "Praying Mantis Man," given the relative mouthful of the appellation. I mean, "Blue Beetle" rolls right off the tongue, while "Praying Mantis Man" sounds either like one of those things you're supposed to try to spell with your tongue during cunnilingus or the name of a 90s college alt-rock band.

A scientist with a yen for chlorophyll (I guess he had bad breath or something), Praying Mantis Man makes himself green and gives himself the powers of insect control for the purposes of ... the usual purposes, I guess. I have vague memories of his second appearance, but something is telling me that he married an ant. I dunno. These things start to blur together. Buy the book for the whole story!

THE ROACH WRANGLERCreated by: Mike Baron and Bill Reinhold

Debuted in: The Badger #27 (First Comics, September 1987)

Winner of the grossest origin of all time goes to the former U.S. military man who falls into a hidden cavern underneath a pyramid and has roaches climb into his mouth every day for like a million days, and then comes out with an amulet that allows him to control roaches. That's a pretty great origin and a really weird backstory, but even better was that he was hired by a Fats Waller lookalike to drive renters out of the landlord's property so he could set up condos. Timely and weird, my favorite kind of comics! It helps, too, that the climax of his debut adventure involved a war between cockroaches and elephants on the Wisconsin/Illinois border. Comics are fun.

THE SCARLET BEETLE
Created by: Stan Lee, Larry Lieber and Jack Kirby
Debuted in: Tales to Astonish vol. 1 # 339 (Marvel Comics, January 1963)

If you're an Ant-Man, you're going to face some insect villains -- see the troubles Blue Beetle had with Praying Mantis Man, above. For the original Ant-Man, though the problem takes the shape of a giant, radioactive, world-conquering beetle who can command the insects of the world to destroy man's civilization. It's a good thing that Ant-Man's alter ego, Hank Pym, is an incredibly good scientists, because just getting very small would not have solved this problem at all.