Friday, February 3, 2017


Last year, I had the pleasure of having my first book, The League of Regrettable Superheroes, published by the fine folks over at Quirk Books in Philadelphia, PA. Although the cat has been out of the bag for a little while, I'm nonetheless proud to announce that the logical sequel -- The Legion of Regrettable Super-Villains -- is slated to debut on March 28th! You can now pre-order the book over on AmazonBarnes&Noble, and probably on the weird superhero book black market. It does thriving business!

To whet your appetite for the new book, every Friday leading up to the release date, I'll be providing brief snapshots of just some of the 108 (!) historically effed-up bad guys covered in the book (and that's not even counting the sidebars).

Super-villainy is a competitive affair, so it's no surprise that so many of its practitioners go for the extra prestige and (presumably) pay one receives when extending one's college education. There must be plenty of menaces with Master's Degrees, but the real cash resides in devious doctoral degrees! That's why the field is packed aplenty with dastardly docs of all derivations, such as ...

Created by Otto and Jack Binder
Debuted in: Silver Streak Comics No.17 (Lev Gleason, 1941)

So what is this guy, vampire or not a vampire? All the trappings have the look of the dreaded Dracula from which he takes his name -- the fanged teeth, the bat-like wings, the sexy bondage clothing. Doctor Dracula leads a battalion of Nazi vampire-men in latex Nosferatu onesies into the war against good and democracy, drawing the attention of Captain Battle and his imaginatively-named sidekick, Captain Battle Jr.

Doctor Dracula's goal is the theft of a Death Ray developed by American scientists, and used to make life hell on lab rats. Possibly the most interesting part of his battle against ... ah, Captain Battle ... was an ill-fated scientist declaring, upon seeing the fanged fiends, "Vampires! Vampires as large as men!" How large were vampires actually supposed to be, is my question.

Created by Bob Oksner  and an uncredited writer
Debuted in: Wonder Comics No.9 (Better/Standard/Nedor, December 1946)
That inviting, expressive Bob Oksner art didn't do much for the goat-like appearance of Doctor Voodoo, and intergalactic factotum of the universe's most evil empress and a man who dressed like a minotaur going to a formal function.

Voodoo is the go-to guy for Lilith, the goddess of pure evil, and the Immortal Emperor, a guy who looks like a very happy pencil eraser. Originally, his primary job was the find new worlds to conquer for the glory of his home planet (also called Lilith, just like Ohio's got a place called Columbus, I guess) and new evil souls to add to its population. Repeated conflicts with Brad Spencer, a.k.a. Wonder Man, sees the world of Lilith destroyed and Voodoo's job rendered a little unnecessary. On the plus side, he could always find work as a maitre d'.

Created by Warren Kremer
Debuted in: Devil Kids Starring Hot Stuff  No.23 (Harvey Comics, March 1966)

You have to admire Doctor Cesspoole's ambition. If I were to pick an enemy upon which to eternally direct my incalculable hatred, I'd pick something fairly easy to beat in a fight, like small goats. Or socks. Not Doctor Cesspoole, though. With his face like a fart's unhappy memory, he sets his sights on taking down the world's population of passive, benevolent giants -- starting with Harvey Comics' mellow Stumbo.

None of Cesspoole's attempts to murder the friendly titan amount to much, although you can't fault his ambition and self-confidence. Particularly given that he has a face like a piece of cat shit demanding a divorce from a rhinocerous' run-over scrotum, Cesspoole never lets his defeats get him down. Maybe he doesn't own any mirrors.

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