MICRONAUTS MONDAY: 15 - THE INSIDE JOB

Congrats on the Eagle Award!

Micronauts vol.1 No.15 (Mar 1980)
Writer: Bill Mantlo
Artist: Howard Chaykin/Al Milgrom
Letterer: John Costanza
Colorist: Bob Sharen
Editor: Al Milgrom
EIC: Jim Shooter

We open inside the Baxter Building and the typical-in-this-situation editorial reassurance that we aren't in the wrong book (pilgrims), but check out these guest stars! Agent M has finally made it all the way to New York and the headquarters of the Fantastic Four, and it only took him basically forever, In the time during which Agent M was in transit, Bug liberated his entire homeworld and the Micronauts reunited. What did this guy do, fly coach from Denver? Micronauts get shit done.

Imagine what a Micronaut key party would look like.

Reed acknowledges and invasion from the Microverse before Agent M even breaks out the shoebox full of dead Homeworld soldiers, having had some experience with threats from that particular, subordinate sphere of reality. To my weird pleasure, Reed is also familiar with the work of Dr.Phillip Prometheus, a name that doesn't sound any less ridiculous coming from the mouth of someone who dubbed himself "Mister Fantastic."

"They dive into it like a porpoise and
burrow through it like a gopher."

The Micronauts have added two new members to the team, and now everybody is paired up all heteronormatively and everything. Rann and Mari are together, having failed to examine the possibility that their relationship is predicated entirely on having common enemies and possibly also a little bit that Mari considers Arcturus to be a demi-god. Acroyear has brought his partner Cilicia on board, and the sound of Spartak lovemaking probably rattles the rivets from the Endeavor. Lastly, Bug and his acid-tongued girlfriend Jasmine make up the third pair, although I don't see how that relationship's gonna work because she loves death and he's a blithe goon. Also, for the sake of this arrangement, I'm assuming that Biotron and Microtron are married.

Our heroes' plan to liberate distant planets from the tyranny of Karza's collapsing empire runs into its first roadblock. Specifically, that roadblock is a ship the size of a planet into which the Endeavor is drawn. Inside, more of those monster Micronaut toys which had been advertised in earlier issues show up, behaving as the antibodies/sanitation units of the larger vessel. They make short work of the Micronauts, and even end up killing poor little Microtron! Egads!

This reminds me, among my multitude of other criticisms of Marionette's and Rann's relationship (why can't you just let them be happy, Jon?) is that Mari keeps invoking the names of Dallan and Sepsis, Homeworld's elevated Gods of Resistance, patron entities of the royal family, and Arcturus Rann's very real, very human parents. How weird must that be for Rann? Imagine if you had a significant other who kept shouting your parents' names in times of danger or shock. "Peter and Barbara!" "Great Roy!" "Marguerite's mercy shine on us all!" "By the sword of Blanche!" and so on. Picture having that happen during sex. "Oh Martin. Martin! Martin!!" C'mon Mari, be cool, its the dude's parents.

"They're collectibles."

Anyway, she holler's her boyfriend's dad's name in shock as Microtron eats it, only to be outshouted by ... Psycho-Man (Qu'est-ce que c'est)? It turns out that the crew has accidentally landed on the giant-sized spaceship-thing of the FF's former, fear-mongering foe. Which is a good segue to the regular ol' Earth, where the FF have split up to cover more ground. Reed, Sue and Ben take off for the Microverse in what appears to be a golden bobsled, while Johnny flies out to the Human Engineering Life Laboratories and starts a fight with guards for no reason. They make up, if it makes you feel better, giving Johnny a chance to explore the seemingly-defunct Prometheus Pit.

Letter column time: Gary Norman raises the fuckin' stakes with Captain Universe. You have been warned!