TRULY GONE&FORGOTTEN : THE PIONEER

To be honest, I'm still piecing together what happens in The Pioneer's debut (and sole) adventure, since there's a dearth of real information going on with this Witty Comics character, created by Lou Ferstadt (Co-creator of The Bouncer, the superhero who was a Greek god reincarnated in a statue that could come to life and bounce. Classicism abounds in these tales, I see).

Sure you do, pal, whatever that means.

The Pioneer is one of those Golden Age characters who pops up without an origin, nothing in the way of motive, and an M.O. which was acquired without any backstory. On the other hand, he's got some colorful euphemism at his disposal. "It's like savin' lambs from runaway buffaloes" he says on one occasion, as he rescues a child from being run down by a gangster's automobile. "Gorsh," he exclaims on another occasion, in disappointment, "I plumb lost that shootin'-iron shooter." And then, at the end of the song, he says "Awwwwww SUFFRAGETTE!" I made that last one up.

These forced, old-timey sayings are consistent with his apparent nature. Long-haired and born free, the Pioneer seems to possess few powers outside of speed, strength, and something called "an electric punch" which I'm pretty sure is the top category on Pornhub these days.

What if the baby takes that gun away? Whole different comic.

He's described, early on, as "The spirit of youth that is in every American," and is feted in the streets as a "defender of the people," meaning he must have been around for a while. That's good, because after the first incident of crime-fighting which we, the audience, are allowed to observe, he fucks off for two years.

What is he doing in that time? Well, he's been hanging around his laboratory, possibly developing the aforementioned electric punch (which only shows up after the two-year break), and taking some speech therapy classes or something? He drops the Okie patois and just starts mumbling out all of his lines like every depressed, articulate urban dweller since the beginning of time. This is better than the frontier, I ask? (Yes, because there's less dysentery and usually not that much lead in the water).

The rest of his sole adventure has him breaking up a mob pay-to-play racket encroaching on a hard-working, well-meaning Trade Union, which is my jam. Punch a few Nazis and Pioneer would be the best hero in the world. Too bad he never showed up for a second go-around.