Micronauts vol.1 No.30 (June 1981)
Writer: Bill Mantlo
Artist: Pat Broderick / Danny Bulandi
Letterer: Shelly Leferman
Editor: Louise Jones
EIC: Jim Shooter
Before the Micronauts make it back to the Microverse -- following their role in the battle between SHIELD and a Karza-led incarnation of Hydra -- the story begins in Bahawalpur, Pakistan, where a Dutch archaeologist named Martin Vandenburg (sic) has discovered a golden monolith, much like the one in Arcturus Rann's brain! Only it's large and not in Arcturus Rann's brain! Differences abound!
On The Endeavor, the Micronauts are discussing the very same monolith, and Rann reveals that it has been inscribed with an intolerable piece of doggerel outlining some sort of prophecy of destruction. Prophecies are almost always a bad sign in science fiction, and this awkward song-poem doesn't fill me with hope:
A time of darkness will there be;Whatever ancient alien wrote that is really into irregular punctuation.
Of great distress on land and sea!
Find thyselves, and thou wilt find me --
The secret lies in these keys three!
|Hope you enjoyed this, because it's not going away ...|
|At some point, a vagina |
fwooshed into the book ...
Back on Spartak, Acroyear is unsurprised to find the sphere a cold, lifeless hunk of rock. Having used the Worldmind to defeat Baron Karza, Ayo had destroyed his planet's living soul, sending his people off to find homes among the distant worlds. But not before they leave him a poison pen letter! The one source of light and heat on all of Spartak glows outside of the chamber which once housed the Worldmind, bearing a red-hot brand (declaring, we're told, "T" for "Traitor"). Ayo wastes no time in SLAMMING HIS FOREHEAD ON THE BRAND AND LETTING IT BURN HIM, which is pretty extreme, but that's my man Ayo.
With Acroyear's absence and Biotron's death, the Micronauts have room for some new members. While 'she' doesn't join right away, the golden cyclopean roboid Nanotron -- clearly on the horn for homeworld-famous roboid Microtron, even though they have the same last name and might be related, I guess -- shows up, boobily. This book went a long time without introducing a robot with tits, good for them and their restraint.
|"Uh ... Can I call you |
Steve for short?"
Speaking of Homeworld, its molecule is the first one to experience whatever the Great Cataclysm is. The entire capitol city is burning and broken after one tremendous earthquake, which is unnecessary because the Micronauts were gonna go on this dumb quest anyway. No need to kick their asses, they got it figured out ...
The crew of five -- Mari, Rann, Microtron, Bug and Pharoid -- head over to Seazone, seeking the city of Oceania, wherein they hope to find help on their quest. This part ... this part ... is boring. But bear with me.
Flying over the endless waters of Seazone, the Micronauts' Astrostation is attacked by "Leviathan," a very large fish. A brief scuffle separates the team -- Rann and Mari get eaten by a fish, the rest meet Lady Coral, heir to the throne of her addled father Tybaldt and carrying a major mad-on for the merpeople jackasses of Seazone. This is because she believes that these creatures abducted and killed her brother, Prince Aquon, BUT ...
...Aquon is not dead! He's a goldfish! And he helps save Mari and Rann from being digested by a large fish, although he does that by trapping them in a much larger fish which will digest them more slowly. Can't ask for more, really. Aquon also happens to have the first key strapped to his chest. That was easy!
On the outro, Vandenburg has taken the monolith to an auction house in New York City, because fuck Pakistan's claim to artifacts found within its borders, I guess. What Vandenburg finds, however, is ... Doctor Strange! He's wearing a coat and saying ominous-sounding things! Where was he when everyone was fighting Nightmare, anyway...?
|Life comes at you fast...|