Anton Arcane (Mark Lindsay Chapman) is once again set upon by the visions, wraiths, spirits and wrathful whatever-elses of those he has wronged in the past. This has been such a consistent theme in the show that it is literally the plot of the second episode I covered ("Falco," in which the sins committed against German pop star Falco by the wretched Anton Arcane come back to haunt him).
In recent episodes, it seems to have been picking up pace; LaRoche used hypno-ghost powers to harass Arcane, DuChamp's children came after him, the spirit of Linda Holland and the daughter of Sunderland -- they've all had a shot to get their own back at Arcane. So now it's time for the ghost of General Sunderland to exercise his wrath, which absolutely sounds like the opening line to a Confederate marching song.
|"Hey YouTubers, what's up? Today I'm unboxing the September Lootcrate ..."|
Spiritual forces emerge in the swamp, and Swamp Thing can only stand there and watch, killing time on this show which -- at 22 minutes per episode with a 90-second intro segment -- it shouldn't need to do it. BUT OH LORD DO THEY. Later on, we'll witness the entirety of Arcane calmly getting into his SUV, backing out of his parking spot, and driving away sparing not one single frame. Time is hardly of the essence.
|But at least there's these guys.|
Arcane blames the technicians, but Graham suspects POLTERGEISTS! Speaking of Graham, I know I've known this since the beginning, but he really leaned into it this episode -- Graham, despite sounding and looking like a 90s standup comic doing shit Jack Nicholson impressions, is actually doing the fawning, nasal intonations of an "Igor" type. I know I knew this, but I always default to referring to it as a Jack Nicholson impression. He really lays on the Igor in this one, though.
|It stands for The Arcane, The|
Tantalized by the idea of poltergeists -- which are specifically calling his name, and identifying himself as Sunderland -- Arcane takes to the swamp with some totally fake-looking Ghostbusters equipment. There, Swamp Thing slowly and calmly tries to talk him out of doing ... something. They have a long, half-heartedly antagonistic conversation, and then they slowly fuck off, eating up more spare film. I wonder if anything ever ended up on the cutting room floor.
Arcane faces off against the ghost of Sunderland inside the tugboat or whatever it is (I yam not a sailor man) that they blow up during the Universal Studios water stunt show, and which they've blown up on this show two or three times before. I bet I know how this ends.
Sunderland possesses some remarkable powers, shooting big bolts of fire at Swamp Thing and leaving him hollowed out and blown apart like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. Once he collects himself, Swamp Thing figures out that fire is actually the poltergeists' weakness. It makes sense -- after all, I could set someone on fire, but I'd hate it if they went and did it to me. The math checks out.
|He blowed the fuck apart.|
All of this being said, Chapman and Durock got a couple cute lines to throw at each other at the end. I give this eight out of nothing in particular, inasmuch as I have never rated this program before and don't intend to start now...