TRULY GONE AND FORGOTTEN: THE EASTER BUNNY
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| I bet you can see his rangey human wrists poking out from his elastic cuffs. *shudder* |
First appearance: Police Comics #18
Created by Frank Borth
Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hoppin’ down the bunny trail
Hippity-Hoppity
He’s attempting to assassinate a prominent government figure
With a basket full of exploding eggs
That may not be how the song goes, but it’s how the story goes in Police Comics #18 (April 1943), when scantily-clad superheroine Phantom Lady faces the fiendishly fuzzy scheme of an explosives-happy ex-con in an ersatz Easter Bunny costume.
The Easter Bunny – aka Bunny Rabbit, aka Bunny Man, aka “Uncle Wiggeley” [sic] - is actually aka “Killer Dan,” a vicious criminal who seeks revenge on the judge who sentenced him, and who is now Senator Ted Knight (Caddyshack, Too Close for Comfort).
To this end, Killer Dan infiltrates the annual Easter Egg Hunt on the grounds of what I have to imagine is Senator Knight’s own personal mansion, because I don’t think they just give you a mansion when you’re a Senator. They can’t just give mansions to every elected official. The paperwork alone would be brutal.
Killer Dan’s devious plan to avenge himself upon Senator Knight begins with the bunny rabbit costume and a basketful of exploding golden eggs. These, Killer Dan hides all around the estate, alongside harmless normal Easter eggs. Then, he encourages the children to find those golden eggs and return them to him in exchange for a live pet rabbit. Then, once he has recollected all of the explosive golden eggs, he gifts them to the Senator as a centerpiece for his Easter dinner table, and then leaves before they blow up.
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| The devil's bargain. |
Hoppin’ down the bunny trail
Hippity-Hoppity
He’s attempting to assassinate a prominent government figure
With a basket full of exploding eggs
That may not be how the song goes, but it’s how the story goes in Police Comics #18 (April 1943), when scantily-clad superheroine Phantom Lady faces the fiendishly fuzzy scheme of an explosives-happy ex-con in an ersatz Easter Bunny costume.
The Easter Bunny – aka Bunny Rabbit, aka Bunny Man, aka “Uncle Wiggeley” [sic] - is actually aka “Killer Dan,” a vicious criminal who seeks revenge on the judge who sentenced him, and who is now Senator Ted Knight (Caddyshack, Too Close for Comfort).
To this end, Killer Dan infiltrates the annual Easter Egg Hunt on the grounds of what I have to imagine is Senator Knight’s own personal mansion, because I don’t think they just give you a mansion when you’re a Senator. They can’t just give mansions to every elected official. The paperwork alone would be brutal.
 |
| Get. His. Ass. |
Killer Dan’s devious plan to avenge himself upon Senator Knight begins with the bunny rabbit costume and a basketful of exploding golden eggs. These, Killer Dan hides all around the estate, alongside harmless normal Easter eggs. Then, he encourages the children to find those golden eggs and return them to him in exchange for a live pet rabbit. Then, once he has recollected all of the explosive golden eggs, he gifts them to the Senator as a centerpiece for his Easter dinner table, and then leaves before they blow up.
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| How long do you have to pause behind a bush in order to become Phantom Lady? How long would it take me, for instance? |
This plan contains a lot of moving parts, especially considering that Killer Dan had to somehow get himself hired for this gig in the first place. Then, you add in the cost of the explosives, food and housing for those pet rabbits, plus the costume rental, and then all the time invested in recollecting the eggs – buddy, next time, just shoot him. It’s easier.
Unfortunately for Killer Dan, the Senator’s lovely daughter Sandra “Phantom Lady” Knight also happens to be in attendance. Encouraged by her fiancee, Don, to try her luck at finding a golden egg, Sandra manages to inadvertently spoil the whole scheme when she finds one that ticks. Quickly, she complicates matters further by tricking herself out like a day-glo hooker and launching into action as Phantom Lady!
The Bunny’s hole-filled homicide plot comes apart as Sandra exposes the big lagomorph’s alter-ego, and then proceeds to re-scatter the explosives-filled golden eggs all around the lawn while Killer Dan makes his escape in the Senator’s car.
Falling from the Phantom Lady’s hand, one golden egg succumbs to the gentle roll of the Senator’s driveway and bounces in front of the speeding escape vehicle, blowing the evil Easter Bunny to stuffed smithereens. At the cost of his car, the Senator’s life is spared, and Phantom Lady gets to rack up another victory which isn’t all that bad when you consider that her only super-power at the time was being cold. Easter is saved!
Unfortunately for Killer Dan, the Senator’s lovely daughter Sandra “Phantom Lady” Knight also happens to be in attendance. Encouraged by her fiancee, Don, to try her luck at finding a golden egg, Sandra manages to inadvertently spoil the whole scheme when she finds one that ticks. Quickly, she complicates matters further by tricking herself out like a day-glo hooker and launching into action as Phantom Lady!
The Bunny’s hole-filled homicide plot comes apart as Sandra exposes the big lagomorph’s alter-ego, and then proceeds to re-scatter the explosives-filled golden eggs all around the lawn while Killer Dan makes his escape in the Senator’s car.
Falling from the Phantom Lady’s hand, one golden egg succumbs to the gentle roll of the Senator’s driveway and bounces in front of the speeding escape vehicle, blowing the evil Easter Bunny to stuffed smithereens. At the cost of his car, the Senator’s life is spared, and Phantom Lady gets to rack up another victory which isn’t all that bad when you consider that her only super-power at the time was being cold. Easter is saved!
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| Low-effort superheroics pay off. |
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