MAD AD : AUTOMATIC MIND COMMAND!

I provide this advertisement largely sans comment, because it's a document which deserves to be read. Future generations should make the effort to preserve things like this in light, and possibly to record it on gold discs to launch into space, so that distant empires may know of the wonders of Automatic Mind Command.

Highlights, if you can't bother your ass to fully indulge in the greatest collaboration of word and idea since Ulysses:

• "How to get started in just 3 minutes: Minute #1 - Fill out the No-Risk coupon..."
• "Minute #2 - When you receive a package in the mail from us, open it..."
• "Minute #3 - Lift the front cover ..."
• "Larry S wanted to see his girlfriend - although he had no idea of where she was -- and no way of contacting her by letter or phone ..."
• "John C reports that his hearing now seems normal again!" 
• "Think what this power can mean in your life. You need money ..."
• "The credit man smiles ..."

Like some sort of enthusiastic tone poem, the power of Automatic Mind Control will change your life -- or it already has! Garner apologies after someone yells at you! End weakness and dizziness! Get your money from Billy! The world is your Automatic Mind Oyster!