|Him and his gnomes, hammer-dancing this giant to justice.
Your Humble Editor is currently shopping around for a new home, so I’ve been giving a lot of thought to exactly what I’d like to have in a house; A guest room, a sizable back yard, plenty of natural light, closets and storage space, a good-sized kitchen, and – of course – a secret subterranean temple buried under the basement where I can house the living statue of a wrathful Far Eastern god of justice.
|"And I'm losing my pants - it's a party!"
Sure it seems like a long shot, but that’s exactly what Harry “A-for-Anything” Chesler’s Mr.E had in his urban sanctum. Having discovered the vengeful deity’s larger-than-life icon while excavating the site of a prehistoric civilization, the otherwise-unnamed Mr.E cozies up to the big guy’s primary teaching – the violent destruction of all evil! Hauling the likeness back to the States, Mr.E sets him up in a temple he either conveniently already had set up beneath his home or had custom-built by some surely perplexed contractors.
When evil threatens to overcome good, the god-statue of King Kolah – renowned for his delicious flavor and zero calories! – passes the warning on to Mr.E, mentally, sending the eager avenger out into the streets in his striking crimson pantsuit.
Kolah doesn’t send Mr.E out into the world completely unarmed – just mostly unarmed. While E doesn’t boast any super-powers of his own, he is typically accompanied by Kolah’s servants, the “dwarf” sized “messengers.” Standing at about six inches tall, the messengers came in a variety of styles, much like Smurfs. Plucky, mischievous and ready for a pint-sized fight, the imps showed up decked out in contemporary street clothes , or decked out for a specific job – when a fire threatens to overcome Mr.E, the messengers show up as tiny firefighters , as a for instance. Sometimes they showed up as birds. That’s pretty much the extent of it – birds or tiny firefighters, pick one and run with it.
|How big is this guy's basement?
The Messengers also ate up the names in this book, which is probably why we never learn Mr.E’s pre-psuedonymous alternate identity. Despite being the spirits of an ancient god, Kolah’s sprites were identified by names like Chuck, Butch, Spike, Pepper, Sassy and Bunko. I made up at least three of those, but they’re about right. This is also why Mr.E’s girlfriend and assistant was known only as Miss Terry. Hm.