MAD AD MONDAY : GIVEN! BY CLOVERINE

Everyone who reads comics are familiar with the goodie-packed pages promising endless rewards on this imperfect Earth for any child dedicated and focused enough to sell seeds, cards and Grit to his or her neighbors. Very few of these full-page ads full of questionably useful goods and garments ever gave the potential sales individual an impetus to get out there and sell-sell-SELL! Very few, that is, except Cloverine salve - the best there is at what it does! Cloverline (snikt) sponsored full-page ads featuring the adventures of a similar set of kids engaged in important adventures, aided by the garbage they could earn by hocking skin cream on their reluctant-but-obliging neighbors.

I'm kind of alarmed that NASA apparently lost track of that thing as soon as it was launched.

Bearing some combination of names like Bobby, Jim, Judy, Sally, Hortence, Balthazar and Champion, except for those last three, the collection of everykids found themselves heroically saving the day with their Cloverline-sponsored garbage, such as ...

Sussin' out a fink's easy cash ...

The "art picture" is where he stashes the heroin.

Saving innocent maidens from culture-appropriating hooligans...

And bringing consumerism to the far reaches of the galaxy ...

Does anyone else read those calls to action as desperate voices in an unwell person's head? "Act now! We trust you! Let's go! The President is not human! Let's go! Our 58th year!"

Of course, the primary role of any of these product-shilling kid corporations was to tame wildlife, such as in this adventure where a cross gorilla becomes an issue ...

JIM'S GOT A MOTHERFUCKIN' GUN!

Why did they just let a kid walk into a zoo carrying a 22 rifle? Because of the prestige he earned as a salesperson of Cloverine White Pertolatum Skin Salve, the greatest kind of man you can simply ever be. Don't delay! Act now! WE ARE RELIABLE!